we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
that may or may not have been my penis.
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