Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
