Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
