I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
