party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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