So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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