i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
