I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
