ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
