I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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