Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
