No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
