well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
