I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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