He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I need a beard to bite.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
