Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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