You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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