You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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