Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
