This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
