I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
How does it feel to date your dad?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
