When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
sex in a hospital.. check
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
