Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
