Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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