peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
