You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
