Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
