you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
