In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
