make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
