ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
