wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
