like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
