He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
