She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
