whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Someone came in the potted fern
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
