I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
