It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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