ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
