My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
