apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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