I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
