Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
