The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
