I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
