It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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