Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
