i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
