so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
did you just send me my own nude
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
