i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
