Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
